"We have five kids combined - sort of like our very own Brady Bunch ... and we have two children together," Johnson explains. "And she had made me promise that I would get a vasectomy at some point. I love having children, so I always thought in the back of my mind that there would be a chance that she would change her mind. But she didn't seem like she was going to be convinced. She didn't really want to go through another labor."
Who could blame iWife?
When the family met up at Denver International Airport to complete the trip, however, Johnson was "pouting" and carrying on as children often do without their toys.
That's when the wheels were set in motion for one of the most infamous deals in the history of nerds.
The deal stipulated that Johnson obtain a vasectomy, putting an end to the idea of more Johnson children. In turn, Johnson would be allowed to splurge on his iPhone"
Your thoughts? I could and do blaim iWife: she is a domeneering female who should be shot for controlling the "purse strings" and daring to make ANY deal with he who should be her master.
http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_6552323Apple mania impedes next generationArticle Last Updated: 08/06/2007 03:09:28 AM MDTHow crazy are people?
Off-their-rockers crazy - that's how crazy.
As someone who always seems to be two or three cellphones behind the times, I'll just refer to the mania surrounding Apple phones as the iLooney movement.
ILooney, as in standing in a line overnight to shell out 600 bucks for a 4.8-ounce contraption that will cost $200 in a year's time.
And when I heard Sean Johnson's story of sacrifice in the name of geekdom, I realized iLunacy can actually make the jump to religious fanaticism.
Vacationing recently in Colorado Springs for a family reunion, the self-proclaimed "Apple FanBoy" decided that making the ultimate sacrifice was necessary to procure, what is in reality, a fancy telephone.
Johnson, 40, tells me he's the kind of guy who as a kid used to show up at computer conferences featuring Apple co-founder Steve Jobs at around 6 in the morning only to watch the big guy talk on a screen hours later.
So getting his paws on the futuristic iPhone was, in essence, a moral imperative. And he was willing to pay - big time.
On the Idaho leg of his family's Western swing, Johnson had actually gone out, without permission from his wife, and purchased the phone.
Going solo was a mistake.
Wives, as they're occasionally prone to do, put the brakes on male absurdity, lest the world degenerate into an idiocracy of video games, football and 350-inch television screens.
iWife had already set yearly budgetary restrictions for Johnson. If he was interested in buying the phone - including canceling a Sprint contract for another $300 - he could do so on his own budget.
Johnson, naturally, had already blown his budget.
Husband was ordered to return the iPhone in disgrace.
Now, if you're under the impression that Johnson's wife is a domineering wet blanket, think again. As Johnson freely admits, his penchant for buying all the latest techie toys, pointless gadgets and computers necessitated some sort of budgetary restraint to save the family from bankruptcy.
We're talking about a substantial family here.
"We have five kids combined - sort of like our very own Brady Bunch ... and we have two children together," Johnson explains. "And she had made me promise that I would get a vasectomy at some point. I love having children, so I always thought in the back of my mind that there would be a chance that she would change her mind. But she didn't seem like she was going to be convinced. She didn't really want to go through another labor."
Who could blame iWife?
When the family met up at Denver International Airport to complete the trip, however, Johnson was "pouting" and carrying on as children often do without their toys.
That's when the wheels were set in motion for one of the most infamous deals in the history of nerds.
The deal stipulated that Johnson obtain a vasectomy, putting an end to the idea of more Johnson children. In turn, Johnson would be allowed to splurge on his iPhone.
So I ask you: Is voluntary urology surgery in exchange for an iPhone any worse than, say, a day's worth of self-flagellation practiced in some Middle Eastern nations?
Those folks are promised eternal bliss.
We're talking about a phone.
"So now that I've agreed to this, do I have to wait until after the procedure to get the phone?" Johnson asked his astute wife later on.
iWife looked at Johnson for a moment and replied: "You're good for it."
The phone is in hand as I speak to Johnson. He seems happy. The snip and tie is set for Sept. 12. We'll see how he feels in a month or so.
A deal is a deal. So I hope that Johnson doesn't plan on making a run for it?
"No. I'll get it done. I keep joking that I sacrificed my future offspring for this phone but that, you know, it seems fair," Johnson explains.
Yeah. Fair if you're iLooney.
The more important question, I guess, would be: Is the phone worth it?
"It's far from perfect, but it's by far the most perfect phone I've used."
Nice guy. Pithy quote.
Complete geek.
David Harsanyi's column appears Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Reach him at 303-954-1255 or dharsanyi@denverpost.com.
